Friday, December 21, 2007

been a long time...

...still crazy after all these: blogs?

So I am psyched I have survived to see another year. They keep getting more entertaining I tell you. But maybe you already knew.

This was definitely the best birthday yet. A girl's got a mind to feel awfully fabulous when she gets awesome cake.

Thanks cake for, well, being cake and for being at my birthay. You must get tuckered out attending all these functions all the time. Dude I see you everywhere...especially around the holidays.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Open up a can of Whiplash?

So I write because I cannot walk. And I cannot walk because I have no legs. apparently. (**Looks down, shocked to find two lovely lady lum...err, well, past those, two lovely lady stumps and no shoes...becomes spontaneously aware of crippling denial)

So I write today to talk about a very special time of year. A time of reflection. A time of recollection. A time of opening up a can of whiplash?

I am always reminded of my mortality (and capacity for humor) for a moment in time I would like to call my annual Winter-Fall.

It happens every year it seems. Out of the blue I lose my suspension (not footing, for I have no feet) and wipe out on some sort of ice. Black and blue ice? Now, it's kinda funny. I mean, who doesn't laugh when they see somebody bite the dust, wipe out or as they say in Boston "DIGGER!!!"

So I'm on my way to band practice, just parked and walking toward the door to the practice space. It can be said that all practice spaces come fully equipped with precarious entries. Just in front of the door as I am reaching for my key, BLAMO. I open my eyes: sprawled out like a pancake. On the ground. Culprit: patch of ice...and my lack of eyes. 20/20 hindsight would be great if I had eyes on me ars but I was woefully born defficient. So: ice, slip, fall like a plank on cold hard ground. pause. don't pass out. pause. everything still attached? Remarkably even the LEGS. Curl up into a ball. don't pass out. pain. everywhere.

And yet, in that moment mid air, knowing I was going to be in a world of hurt shortly, I had one thought. I remember thinking, 'damn! I hope somebody at least gets a load of this!' Because while it hurt a lot at the time, even as my brain was busy taking inventory on all of my 2000 parts, it was still funny - at least to the onlookers if there were any. And you have to admit, any movie with a scene like the one I described always gets a laugh or two.

Physical comedy has its own place at the round table of funny. It might be under the table begging for scraps but it's still there.

So in hopes of making light of my heavy hit, I beseech you, heed the message of my tale and watch your tails this icy season.

Yours sorely,
Asian Cowgirl